Audiobook Assassin's Apprentice (Farseer Trilogy, #1) by Robin Hobb in the ListenBook app
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Book description
Let's be real: most fantasy starts with "Once upon a time, in a land of elves and dragons." Robin Hobb's Assassin's Apprentice? It starts with a royal bastard named Fitz, born on the "wrong side of the sheets" (a phrase that still cracks me up), who's basically the royal family's awkward cousin who can talk to animals but gets shunned for it. And honestly? That's the best kind of fantasy setup. You're immediately rooting for this guy who's got more emotional baggage than a baggage carousel at the airport.
The audiobook? Pure magic. Seriously. Imagine hearing Fitz's quiet despair as he's shoved into the castle, forced to trade his furry companions (and the "Wit" magic that connects him to them) for sword drills and learning to stab people without making a sound. The narrator? They've got this perfect mix of dry wit and quiet intensity. You can hear Fitz's internal monologue: "Great, I'm now a royal assassin who can't even get invited to dinner without someone judging my dog." (Spoiler: His dog is judging him.)
Hobb doesn't just give you a hero; she gives you a deeply human mess. Fitz is awkward, lonely, and constantly torn between his old self and the cold, deadly role he's forced into. The audiobook makes that tension vibrant. You hear the tension in his voice when he's trying to be polite to nobles while mentally plotting their demise. You feel the weight of the Wit magic-the whispers of the animals, the quiet panic when he uses it too much. It's not just telling you the magic is perilous; the audio makes you feel the risk.
And the humor? Oh, it's everywhere. Like Fitz being trained to "observe" courtly manners while secretly learning to poison someone's tea. Or the sheer panic of realizing your new life as a "serving man" involves actually serving tea while planning to assassinate the duke. The narrator nails the absurdity of it all without ever losing the story's grit. You're laughing with Fitz, not at him.
The best part? This isn't just a cool fantasy. It's a story about finding your place when the world keeps pushing you out. The audiobook's pacing is perfect-slow enough to savor the world, fast enough to keep you hooked. You'll find yourself nodding along to Fitz's struggles ("Yeah, that's exactly how I feel when I have to pretend to like my boss's terrible jokes") while simultaneously wanting to jump up and shout, "Don't do it, Fitz! You'll get caught!"
Forget the usual epic battles and chosen-one nonsense. Assassin's Apprentice is about the quiet, terrifying, hilarious reality of becoming someone you never thought you'd be. And the audiobook? It's the perfect companion for late-night listens, making you laugh, cringe, and absolutely need to know what happens next. You'll be pressing play on the next book before you even finish this one. Trust me: this is the fantasy you've been waiting for. Don't miss it.
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