Book description
Let's be real: "Victory or Death" is the kind of title that makes you wonder if the author just threw dice and picked the most aggressively dramatic option. Spoiler: it's the third book in a series where the protagonist, Alexandra, has survived being kidnapped by a republic (because apparently, "Republic" sounds more threatening than "Guy Who Owes You Money"), and her solution? Build an army so big it'll make even the most aggressive dragon think twice about stealing your gold. Or, as she bluntly puts it, "an army large enough to eradicate my enemies no matter where they run." Translation: "I'm tired of being the one who gets kidnapped, so let's just nuke everyone who's ever side-eyed me."
The audiobook nails this unhinged energy. The narrator delivers Alexandra's increasingly unhinged war plans with deadpan precision, making lines like "eradicate enemies no matter where they run" sound like a spreadsheet she's about to email to her general. It's peak fantasy logic: why diplomatically resolve anything when you can just build a bigger, shinier army? Meanwhile, her noble allies are "finding themselves in a delicate position" (read: they're making deals with warlords who smell like burnt onions and bad decisions to keep their dungeon town from becoming a tourist trap for marauders). Their "prosperity" is just a fancy word for "we're bribing everyone who might accidentally destroy us."
And then there's the mysterious Order that "slayed" Alexandra-wait, no, they tried to kidnap her? The Order's plot? "Lurking in the shadows." Oh, thank goodness, they're not just sitting around plotting. Shudders. We've all been there: you're the villainous shadowy group, but your biggest achievement is being slightly less clichΓ© than the last shadowy group. The audiobook leans into this with a narrator who sighs audibly during the Order's "mysterious" monologues, as if saying, "Come on, just say you're the guys who run the 'Necessary Evil' theme park."
What makes this work is how it weaponizes its own tropes. Alexandra's "solution" to every problem is a bigger army, and the audiobook doesn't shy away from the sheer, ridiculous scale of it-like her casually mentioning she's recruiting goblins who just want to be left alone to build a better goblin-themed spa. The humor isn't in the plot; it's in the way the narrator treats it like a very serious business plan. You'll find yourself laughing at lines like "no one will ever dare to attack again" while simultaneously wondering if Alexandra's army includes a single person who's not currently trying to avoid a lawsuit.
If you like your fantasy with zero self-awareness, this is your jam. The audiobook's deadpan delivery turns "dungeon core" tropes into a glorious, chaotic mess-like if a spreadsheet met a medieval war council and they both agreed the best solution was "more swords." It's not deep, it's not subtle, and it absolutely knows it. And honestly? After all the grimdark, morally gray fantasy out there, sometimes you just want to hear someone say, "I'm building a giant army. Deal with it." Victory or death? More like victory or "please stop yelling about the army, I'm trying to sleep." Perfect for when you need to laugh at the absurdity of everything.
Parallax Sugar
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MeeP
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Juice Petite
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Pitfall
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Roma Kabuki
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Hella Fella
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Chuckles
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Scratch Man
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Zero Corn
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Fire Feline
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Mechani-Man
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Sweetness
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Psycho Thinker
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CuriousCraft
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Playing a wide variety of audio formats
Works on all devices with iOS 13 and newer
Huge amount of features for a small price
Frequent updates to add new features and improve existing ones
Advanced playback controls
Live sound processing
Changing the timbre of the reader's voice and noise reduction
Translated into more than 20 languages
If you love listening to fiction audiobooks, ListenBook has features to make the process easier.
Edit book data: title, author, cover
Use equalizer to make the sound comfortable for you
Adjust the playback speed
Enjoy dark and light app themes
Supported formats: MP3, M4B, AWB, FLAC, OGG audio files and many more (must be DRM free)
Auto-Bookmarks make it easy to find your place
AirPlay support allows redirection of audio output.
VoiceOver support
Dark mode for night owls
Convenient bookmarking system helps you mark the most important places.
Unlimited bookmarks for each audiobook
Put your own cover on the wager
Share your audiobook with friends
Lock-screen control
Customise app with extensive options
Sleep timer with shake to reset, set custom notification sounds, and a few unique options
Auto rewind depending on paused time, customize rewind times to your liking
Removing background noise from recordings made in classrooms and meetings
Changing the timbre of the reader's voice for a better listening experience